Dear diary…

Hidey ho folks, Uberbeard here with a quick, generic blog post as I spend a short while procrastinating on the internet.

In a bit I shall be heading off into Bournemouth town to have lunch at a little place called ‘Adam and Eves’ which is a nice little indie resturant I was introduced to by my amasian house mate Su. It has a weird range of different meals, but they’re all delicious and they all seem to be pretty health conscious too, so I’ll come back this afternoon having to pig out on Quavers to make up for it.

Today I have already done quite a lot of work, and the day has not even reached it’s peak yet. Earlier I packed my stuff into my granddad Bob’s car and saw it drive off towards Southampton, which means that all that is left of my stuff in Bournemouth is me, my laptop, some food and my general sense of belonging. The reason I didn’t go with my stuff? Tonight I am planning to go out with my previously mentioned house mate Su. Fun times!

I got Super Smash Bros: Brawl yesterday and spend the entirety of the day playing it instead of preparing my stuff to get moved out, which meant I had to get up somewhat earlier then I expected this morning to make sure everything was ready. I’ve not played it nearly enough to form a full opinion of it yet, only 10 hours or so! In fairness, I think it would be good to play the multiplayer with some mates before I write a proper review because I have only been able to play the single player so far. Early consensus is good, with a few flaws that are easily overlookable, especially when you consider how much of the game is so improved since Melee. Not that that should really be a deciding factor when judging if a game is good or not, but I can’t help but keep it in mind.

- Teh Beard.

The ‘Crap-enning’

I was privileged enough to visit the overpriced Odeon cinema in Southampton this thursday with good company, and instead of waiting around and not doing anything like you’d expect we went and watched a movie. I quite like movies, I have even watched one during the process of writing this blog (yeah, this one has taken a long time). The movie I saw was the Happening, from the same director/writer as The Sixth Sense and Signs, M. Night Shyamalan.

I find mr M rather hit and miss, I liked Unbreakable and Signs, but the Sixth Sense is very overrated and his last movie, The Lady in the Swimming Pool. It was very miss. Very miss. I think perhaps his ego developed a little too much after his earlier success and now he’s starting to imagine his shit a rather shiny gold colour, and not the usual crap we all expect. Arrogance and self-awareness rarely go hand in hand, you should know that M.

Still, I went into this movie hopefully, I had seen some bad reviews but M himself had quoted this movie as a ‘B movie with good production values’. I figured that, knowing he approached it in this way, it might be something you can enjoy as long as you don’t take it seriously.

The Happening really isn’t all that happening, it starts off badly with some almost forgivable early scenes, begins to get better for a while before plummeting back down into misery once again. For some reason Shyamalan likes to tart up his screenplays with weird bits of random and abstract dialogue/language, and not the endearingly abstract Juno style, but the disconcerting and annoying Younglings style. The political edge to the film only adds to in a sense of contrived idiocy, and the whole thing pans out like an elaborate attempt to reimagine ‘The Attack of the Triffids’.

So, the verdict? A piss poor 3 out of 10. Sorry, Shyamalan, but the only thing intellectually engaging about this movie is trying to figure out how to spell your name on my snub list

- teh Beard.

The Incredible Sulk

Yes, the movie portrayed Bruce Banner as a somewhat moody guy, playing the old lonesome routine, which made the film seem somewhat depressing… but then again the Green Mile was also, suicidally, and that was a tremendous piece of film that touched me, and not in the weird way the tramp down the road does. It made me cry, the Incredible Hulk didn’t, but it did make me feel like beating my hands against my chest and wearing a police car as boxing gloves.

An amiable take on the Incredible Hulk, and apparently a far more watchable attempt then Ang Lee’s version that lacked, frankly, any sense of pace for a Hollywood blockbuster. Still, that does not mean it was a perfect film. Inevitable comparisons to the awesome sauce that was Iron Man are going to arise in the vociferous circle of critics that seem to prowl the Internet making sure nobody can be too happy about any sort of hype anymore.

I was surprised, actually, when I found myself thinking ‘this dialogue is just not as good as the better movie’ because I did tell myself not to do it. It’s like comparing french cheese to God.

So, a smatteringly quick catch up finds us with a fresh history for Bruce Banner, and he’s been on the run for a few years being all bearded and Edward Nortony, which is quite a nice way to jump into the story (and we can thank the other Hulk movie for leaving us with a clearer introduction so that we don’t have to go through anything more of the tedious and outdated social commentary on the Cold War). This feels a lot more like the Incredible Hulk already, because we’re familiar with this… You might have seen the old series, or even the cartoon, Bruce Banner is going it alone with that all too saddening music in the background.

Yeah, that was even in the movie, which made me giggle.

It’s obvious that Marvel have stuck their foot in with the story, because it proves itself to be an action movie straight off but doesn’t let that get in the way of the soppy parts. I read somewhere that a lot of the screenplay was done by Edward Norton himself, and I hope that the parts I didn’t like weren’t him, because he’s cool and he was in Fight Club which means he must be a genius or something…

Wait, that logic suggest Brad Pitt is a genius. No.

Another criticism I might have of the movie is the overdone contrast between good characters and evil. I liked that they had the balls to make Hulk a bit more destructive in this, but I don’t like how the moment he’s stopped doing generic action points, he’s a bundle of love for Betty, and what I dislike above this is the lack of compassion either of the main antagonists seemed to convey or attract. They are too unamiable to be realistic villains, which ultimately makes them one dimensional characters and draws away from any sense of conflict and threat.

So there were a few part of the movie that bored me, but they were not obtuse and I would definatley enjoy watching that movie again.

Oh, and for the record the tramp down the road made me cry, too…

- Teh Beard

Sam

I found out that somebody I know, or knew, has recently passed from the realm of the living. I don’t know how it happened and I am slightly anxious to ask, because I’m not sure if it’s particularly private or not.

Either way, it’s come as quite a shock to me, I knew him fairly well and we were even pretty close for a while back when I saw him a lot. I’ve not seen him in years, but that makes it somewhat worse that I won’t be able to see him ever again. I liked him a lot, and I always felt associated with him because he was always friendly. I think I would like to go to the funeral, so that I might properly celebrate his life, but I’m not sure how ‘close’ you have to have been to the departed for it to be kosher. Are funerals open to all? I think some are, but I’m not sure about the ceremony.

Anyway, I guess I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. Though I wouldn’t consider us best of friends, I’ve never lost someone ‘important’ to me and it’s a little weird now that I have. I guess it means I can write this and actually mean it now:

Rest in peace, Sam.

Ban Boredom

Mini have always had a brilliant commercial attitude that generally builds up their already awesome image. Fun is pretty much how they’ve advertised themselves, and this latest advert had me burst out in laughter.

Indiana Blows

So now I am going to review Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

I am going to post the result of the review right here, and the bulk of the actual review in an extended section that, yes, contains rather dreadful spoilers… Spoilers that will not only ruin the story for you, but will probably ruin the story for you.

- teh Beard