Limericks

I found these limericks in a text file taken from my old PC. Some of them were a bit raw, so I’ve cut them out, but there are a couple of hilarious entries I’m rather proud of:

There once was a young man called Nathan,
He liked to eat lots of fresh bacon,
He ate them in rashers,
He also liked badgers,
And then he got stabbed in the eye.

There once was a person called Joe,
Who’s trade mark was often hello,
He used to say hey,
But got told that it was gay,
So now he says it anywhere he goes.

The Old Me

I found an old news post I wrote back when I was a young’un at Toynbee Secondary School. It was an edgy, thought provoking piece that amused me so much I felt inclined to paste it on the internet.

And today at the quiet place of Toynbee a volcano erupted… aaaargh I’ve got lava in my shoe! Anyway, Mrs. Ode the nicest teacher you could ever meet; hot, sexy, sweet so and so here is a picture I have of her…Wait a minuet? Oh my god I’ve been talking about the wrong miss Ode, yuk! Well anyway young Rachel Stevens (not actual name) has been the victim of her skitsoism, and here is the actual conversation today Brad (I’ve always wanted to say that)

Rachel: “miss can I go to the loo?”
Miss Ode: “Yes but come back quickly!”(5 minutes pass Rachel comes back in)
Miss Ode: “and where have you been?”Rachel: “to the toilet.”
Miss Ode: “did I say you could go?”
Rachel: “yes.”
Miss Ode: “no I did not now you can have a detention for that missy!”
Rachel: “but miss!”
Miss Ode: “no butts now get back to your seat!”

As you can see this horrible, horrible tragedy is still happening and we should nuke Miss Ode because she offends me and all the other students. Over to you Brad (I’ve said it again, yay!)