Spoiled Bitch

As the title of this blog entry might suggest, I am now writing a piece on how spoiled I am. Particulally by my family, but not exclusively so.

I’m going to attempt to keep the braggishness that would be so easy to write into this article behind locked doors, but I’m not sure I can because like many people I do enjoy showing off the nice things that I own, and just recently I have started to own a lot of nice things to show off.

The whole story begins at Christmas, perhaps the worst time of year for this subject. This is the time of year when everyone is feeling a little over generous, when they’re prepared to put a bit of their own time and thought into getting a really nice present for the people they love… Or just prepared to dole out a load of cash to get whatever they’re told to get.

I guess my family present a pleasant middle ground of these two points, or at least I have an even amount of thinkers to spenders.  The person who, before January 18th 2008, I thought was the best at picking presents out that I like, was my aunt Rebbecca. Her ability to find amazingly funny little nick-nacks and store them up so that by the time it comes to Christmas I have a veritable treasure trove of little goodies is unparalleled by anyone in my family. I think the trait comes from my Nan, who uses her powers in this department for more practical items, which I am by no means displeased about. I love that my Nan is there for me to provide a jar of Mayonnaise the size of my own head, or more socks than a centipede would need. It’s comforting, and I know that of all the people in my family she’s the one I’ve relied on the most for… Living skills?

Backtracking to Rebbecca, however, before returning home on the Friday before this article, I had picked up that there was a large parcel waiting for me at my Nan’s house. A large parcel from my auntie? Surely this would be the greatest birthday present I could be expecting from my family? Well, okay, it’s not going to compare to the Steam Cooker that my other Nan got me for Christmas, but let’s face it, that was accidental genius..

To my surprise, it was a 3-8 year old Pirate Ship toy set from the Early Learning Center.

To my dread and horror, and to be honest, offense.

I realize that I am a 20 year old with a childs brain, I do realize this, but for some reason when I get given presents like that my esteem for bright colours and wrapping paper dissapears out of the window. People have bought me presents like this before, and I’ve not kept them… Well, that’s actually a lie, I’ve kept the ones that my friends gave me on my 19th birthday, but that was because it was small and it didn’t seem like such a waste. Oh, and the train with my face on it was funny enough to be forgivable anyway.

A whole pirate ship? It just seems… Meh.

Well, returning to the point I am trying to make (and apparently I can’t overlook the fact that I got this pirate ship even though I’ve been given loads of other amazing presents highlights that, even if I don’t realise it, I do act a bit spoilt sometimes) I’ll backtrack to Christmas again.

So what did my parents get me? Well, Mum took me out and snatched up a new iPod Classic (wait, what?) of which I am very pleased (because I can play Sonic on it!) and my Dad got me an amazing new Digital Camera that’s close in quality, but not as complicated as an SLR.

Many of you have seen my brand new coat. The one that actually makes me look mature? Well, if you don’t remember you probably didn’t recognize me in it. This coat was bought for my by my Nan and it’s amazing. In my next blog article I will have a picture for you, but for now you’re just going to have to imagine how special I look in it.

No, not that kind of special you twit.

On top of a coat, my Nan got me two pairs of new shoes (both pretty smart) a new belt and a new set of scarves! She’s kitted me in a whole new wardrobe, and since getting that I’ve just been collecting nice new clothes. Emily got me a new hat, with earflaps (oooh!) and some nice gloves, I acquired a new belt myself… And a new shirt, a new hat and a new set of boxers…

So, that’s cool, lots of new clothes.
THAT’S NOT ALL OF THEM!

We’re jumping forward to my Birthday for a moment again… because there is something you have to know about.
The.
Coolest.
Geekiest.
But still cool because it is…
Hoody.
EVER.

“But James!” I hear you cry, “What could be so cool?”

Next blog article folks… Next blog article…

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About James

Uberbeard, otherwise known as James Crawford has just graduated from the Arts University Bournemouth, taking a course in Interactive Media. He's known to enjoy washing, eating and sleeping.

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