Not so Retroreview: TMNT

Retrorating: **** out of *****
Yes, I might as well being that I watched it today and I have nothing better to write about.

TMNT, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles if you want to go through the obviously too laborious task of actually pronouncing the words, is a pretty decent movie. I’ve never had dellusions of grandeur, and my taste in movies might not be as elegant as some critics would like to think theirs are, but I know a typically bad movie compared to a typically good movie. I would put TMNT, or TNMT as I keep trying to spell it in the moderately good, watchable category. It’s been produced for kids, hasn’t it? I have to take that into account. The dialogue is actually decent, and if anything this movie boasts a good screenwriter behind all the shiny special effects.

Part of me would prefer to see this in traditional animation, I’m not entirely sure what continuity this film is based in but it seems to follow on from the old Ninja Turtles cartoon… The CGI is very nice, though at times the turtles look a bit too much like the chickens in Chicken Run. It doesn’t really remind me of the old Turtles, though… I can’t even remember what the old Turtles was like, really, and I think because of this I’d prefer if they had completely remade the story.

Classic dynamics are all there, though Leonardo is a little more on edge than I’d expect, Raphael is all moody again… and not a few blades short of cutting on himself. Michaelangelo gets to ham it up and Donatello? Well, he gets about 3 lines of dialogue. Obviously, he’s not all that interesting. Shame, that.

The choreography is brilliant. I’m not even kidding, this is the best big of CGI fighting you’re going to see since the introduction to Onmushua 3, or Final Fantasy: Advent Children… (mind you, Advent Children had some strange stuff going on in the fight scenes).

Something about the way gravity works in TMNT seems a little off, but that’s so trivial I might as well be complaining that Kasey’s eyes are the wrong colour.

Fucking hell, I mean… THEY ARE THOUGH!

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About James

Uberbeard, otherwise known as James Crawford has just graduated from the Arts University Bournemouth, taking a course in Interactive Media. He's known to enjoy washing, eating and sleeping.

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