My volume controls are broken.

It’s come to my attention (oh, not that cliche opening again) that I am in fact very much like an old man. Not in terms of age, but in terms of my mental approach to life. To prove my point (because I’m anal (heh, anal)) here is a list of my reasoning:

  • I feel threatened by most modern culture.
  • I am quite grumpy.
  • I sleep until 1pm most days.
  • Every now and then I become extremely nostalgic and recap days of my lost youth.
  • I am almost totally deaf.
  • I’ve lost most of my self respect.
  • I’m really forgetful.
  • Sometimes I just zone out and don’t appear to be in the room.
  • I like a nice coat.
  • I’m really cold.
  • So are my feet.
  • Young people scare me.
  • Them and their stupid fashions.

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those stupid hairdos.


About James

Uberbeard, otherwise known as James Crawford has just graduated from the Arts University Bournemouth, taking a course in Interactive Media. He's known to enjoy washing, eating and sleeping.

One response to “My volume controls are broken.

  1. Anshera

    Do you feel like an old man too? All creaky and stiff and what have you?

    Don’t get over the hill and you’ll be right. 😛

    Or just hire a secretary to keep you organized. My friends just use me, as i’m sure you’ve noticed by now (this is based on the assumption that you read what I write, as horribly uncatagorized as it is, however that a different matter.) Hell, i’m sure if I lived anywhere near you and your lot, i’d end up playing secretary for some of you too. Ha. Just seems to be one of my lots in life.

    Anyway, this comment’s gone on rather long, hasn’t it?

    Be good.

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February 2008
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